Joy is Revolution: Fun Policy in Boston

Endless honking from aggressive drivers, short tempers on a packed T, unhinged meltdowns from customers and workers in retail 

Stress, distrust, isolation, selfishness. 

The oligarchs in DC/the country/the world operate through fear. We need to be separated, broken down, and afraid of each other for them to maintain control. When we are too busy tearing out one another’s throats, too distracted with bare survival, the pillaging of the planet is trivial. We do it for them, at our expense. 

Joy, Fun, Friendly Competition are imperative to resist their woke, identity-politics mind virus. 

The following events and policy aim to build a cohesive Boston unlike ever before. Schools, neighborhoods –the City as a whole– we will create a new identity for the City of Champions. These ideas combine civics, infrastructure, community building, business development, and trade revival. 

These events are listed in order of increasing funding/logistics needs. Many of these can and should be implemented by whichever candidate wins at minimal cost.

Disclaimer: I am a single person setting the framework for what a team of civil servants, private citizens, and local businesses will need to work together on to flesh out. If you notice a gap, good! Get involved and shape Boston into a city that is yours.

City Wide Scavenger Hunt

City Hall, City Council, and other leaders in business and non-profits will have a city wide scavenger hunt sprung on them. 

There will be no special accommodations on this day; traffic and transit will run as normal. They will not be allowed their phones or cars. They must navigate the city using public transit, bikes, walking, their own knowledge, and the information publicly available (like maps of Boston). 

Goals:

• Showcase the city through locations on the scavenger hunt (historic spots, scenic looks, neighborhood staples, schools and parks, ghost bike locations, etc) 

• Show the city which of its leaders actually know Boston

• Make these leaders come to terms with the infrastructure needs of the city in undeniable ways 

Their assistant will follow them and livestream, as well as offer hints. Hints start at $20 and increase $10 per additional. All the money will be donated to charities and city programs. The multiple perspectives will be projected at City Hall Plaza. Livestream donations are another source of fundraising. Fun wagering on who will do best, refreshments and entertainment throughout the day for people who stop by to watch.

This is as much a reward for competent politicians/leaders as it is a punishment for those neglecting their responsibilities. 

The hunt creates a public record and ensures leader accountability. If they start cramming in preparation, good, at least they’re learning more about the city and will hopefully be better able to serve it. 

Whoever completes, or does best in the hunt will win points for their neighborhood’s total in the Boston Summer Games.  

T Masters

Who knows the T the best? Who will be crowned the master of certain lines or routes? 

Competitors will be given two transit locations that they will have to navigate as best possible. No biking. Walking ok. Basic safety rules and dangerous behavior will get you disqualified. Chance for residents to show their secret talents and hacking of transit schedules.

Champions get a year of free T access, and an ad on the route they won.  

• Added challenges like limited budget (so have to make smart transfers)

• Can only use bus lines

• Again these events are open to community input and leadership to establish rules

Games/Events in the Common

Skating on the Frog Pond is a quintessential Boston experience. But the Commons are underutilized. A movie series, one every month, weather permitting, is a year round project that increases the value people get out of living in the city. Again the following list is not exhaustive, just passion projects I would love to get the chance to implement.  

Fall Events

• Harvest Festival/Markets 

  • Celebrate the farmers of Mass, New England, and Boston’s Urban farms. Show off their goods, essentially an expanded farmer’s market. Plenty of treats, recipe demonstration, and classic activities (bobbing for apples, face painting, darts, etc)

  • Set up a hay maze(can later be used for composting, or if still good quality for feed). Fastest time through it will win automatic advancement to their event of choosing for the Boston Summer Games 

• Halloween Parade through the Commons and Public Gardens 

  • On this day, if in school, kids will have early dismissal and have all eyes on them and their cool costumes. Halloween is one of the few items a year where people freely give out compliments, food, and good spirits without anyone yelling about socialism. Lets build off of this cultural conditioning to recognize we can just do this all the time. 

  • Emphasize not giving out candy, especially not wrapped. A quarter of children are overweight, the percentage rapidly increasing. The main downsides of current Halloween traditions: excessive sugar consumption and waste. Once again, spotlight local businesses. Highlight regional and local treats, show that the appeal of Halloween is not the candy, but the open giving and community

• Zombie Tag

  • In conjunction with Halloween but also spread out through the week. Games of Zombie Tag by age range. 

  • Kids will get afternoon/early evening slots for these games

• When the sun sets, the adults will get their turn. Use glow in the dark paint to represent who is a zombie and show when someone had been tagged into a zombie. 

• Winner of their rounds will get automatic byes to their event of choice for the Boston Summer Games 

Winter Events 

• Snow Sculptures and Hot Chocolate/Ciders 

  • When the snow allows for it, section off parts of the commons for sledding, for igloo building, and for an official ice/snow sculpture walk. The frosty equivalent of the sand castle display at Revere Beach 

  • Can do even cooler things like adding lights to the sculptures. Instant classic and gives people a reason to visit during the winter

  • Bountiful opportunity for local business development. Red Apple Farm, located in the Boston Public Market, could set up their donut machine and provide fresh apple cider donuts and hot cider. There is no shortage of local cafes who could do the same with coffee, hot chocolate, teas, etc. 

• Ice skating performance/show. 

  • A combination of professional talent hired, as well as opportunity for locals who want to show off their skills to sign up to do a single or team performance. If at all possible, maybe expanding the rink. If not, the size is plenty good now. 

Spring/Summer Events

• 4 Way Capture the Flag

  • Teams of 15: City Hall vs BPD vs BFD vs Sanitation. Mixed gender teams

  • Winners get dinner paid by the losers. They also get to choose what charities/programs donations and raised funds go to

• Critical movie showings

  • Films, presenters, and discussions. Different organizations and neighborhood programs can sign up to host a movie. Showings like Hidden Figures, Selma, Bajo la Misma Luna, Nature Documentaries, etc. 

Cook Boston

People are severely lacking in basic life skills like cooking, which are being replaced by fast food, industrialized crap, takeout, and home meal kit services. Family recipes are being lost, the communal aspect of food is gone. This initiative will combat the loss of food culture. 

Invite people, from local and celebrity chefs to grandmother's, parents, and young aspiring cooks, to share recipes. 

Emphasize sourcing ingredients as locally as possible, including showing the process of killing, cleaning and butchering meat. 

There will be some in person 6-10 people events done by sign up, others that are recorded and posted on a Boston website for wide reach. At the end of the year, all the year's recipes are compiled and the top 50 voted into an “Eat Boston” cookbook, unveiled at the Summer Games, presented to winners. 

This creates more community and common identity, as well as generates revenue and attention for Boston as a culinary capital. 

Each neighborhood will run their own series, maybe twice a week. Combatting the food loneliness epidemic and food illiteracy. 

How the Children Saved our Wildlife + Children Science Expo

Most of us remember raising caterpillars in elementary school. That round mesh cage that filled up with monarch butterflies. 

We can scale this project. Have homerooms and science classes raise insects. So many science, math, and reading lessons to be derived from this effort(percent of eggs that hatched, percent that survive, how much mass/height they gain, averages, what percent of total pop schools have released, etc).

• Continued tracking throughout the years on sightings, how it affects other species (like predator birds and the plants they pollinate)

• Social studies can involve learning local plants, medicines, foods, and lessons from native tribes. 

• Field trips to plant native species’ food sources before their insects are released.

  • Making seed bombs in art class with clay and local flora seeds. Partnerships with farmers, artists, gardeners, native tribes 

• Making poster boards and organizing a Children Science Expo in the Common presenting on their efforts during the spring as well as during the summer games

• Partnerships with museums like Children’s and Science Museums, as well as with colleges and universities. Reaffirming that places of education are of the people and for collective betterment, not of government and elites 

• One week will specifically be a science week, where streets parks and public spaces are turned into educational galleries of how our material world is produced, the damage done by spread of consumerism and chemicals of capital, and ongoing efforts to right the ship

• Basically I want Boston to produce the kind of leaders other cities and states turn to for guidance. Bostonians will spread our principles, help stabilize the nation, establish new ways of living, and form strong ties and collaborations. 

Artists Showcases

Woodworkers, metalsmiths, clothes makers, glass blowers, sculptors, dancers etc. are under-appreciated and dying breeds. The City can bring them to the forefront once again. 

• Link them to volunteer and teach at community centers, emphasizing local arts and artisans

• Days where local craftspeople are highlighted and people are encouraged to buy from them. Buy furniture, clothes shoes, things that will last you decades, that’ll you want to repair, not industrialized crap that will break in months just to buy again next year

• Organizing collectives and craft spaces to bridge the capital hurdle most single craftspeople cannot afford. 

• Guaranteed vending spaces across the many events I have proposed, like the Harvest Festival or Summer Games

Nightlife in Boston

Focus on activities not centered around drinking, with spaces set aside for teens and younger adults. Have businesses set up their own night themed events, establish a district that stays open later (closed down by 4 am). Preferably separate from residential areas that would be asleep at those hours. Work with community orgs to create a noise plan. 

Escape rooms, movies, late night dining, comedy shows, live music, the list is truly endless for those with the entrepreneurial spirit. Boston is notorious for its universities and hosptials. These students and professionals would certainly provide a constant stream of people in need of late night activities. Plus date nights for parents who finally get time for themselves.

The City is currently trying to expand nightlife through scattered loans and grants. I propose the city organize a series of meetings/conferences with capital investors and entrepreneurs/businesses to identify which sector of the city is best primed for a night life development.

Rather than trying to inject money without direction, the city should be providing the scaffolding for these groups to develop a cohesive vision, and then support them through the permitting, red tape, and necessary studies (per the role of the business liaisons identified in my "The Pro-Business Candidate" policy).

This effort will be supported by modified T hours. Different people operate on different schedules. It should not be hard to find enough night owls to support this evening T division. At this hour of the night, since traffic will be lighter and to minimize overhead, bus service makes the most sense. Another reason why I am seeking to consolidate night life, to maximize the utility of these late night T routes.

Boston Summer Games

This will be the flagship event of the summer, unfolding over 3 months. Our own personal Olympics. 

These games are the vehicles to highlight and push comprehensive street redesign, including: pedestrian, bike, transit focus; capital investment and redevelopment of neglected areas; streets that invite you to stay and enjoy the art or little pockets of peace. 

Starting late May, kicked off by the City Wide Scavenger Hunt, every weekend, 2-3 neighborhoods in the city will basically have neighborhood wide block parties. Each neighborhood will have to figure out how they make their teams and who gets to move on to the city wide events. Team and individual registration will require litter clean up. This project will scale from the block parties organized by Dept of Parks and Recreation. 

The Mayor’s Youth Council can lead the charge in organizing the under 18 games. Neighborhoods will run their own basketball, baseball, soccer tourneys, swimming competitions, the usual smattering of track and field events, and fun new events voted in by the city. They will organize the litter collection and tracking, classification and drop off. 

Cleaning up garbage from their neighborhoods with their teams is an excellent team/community building exercise. Kids/athletes will feel a sense of ownership over their homes, and this experience will make them less likely to litter and more willing to confront those who treat the city like a dump. Active citizenship all the way down. 

Local foods, vendors, and businesses will be spotlighted, as well as the unique cultures of neighborhoods. Kids present their school projects (like how many critically endangered native species they raised and released, their findings, their future plans), art, and literature. 

Once all neighborhoods have made their teams and individuals have placed in local races, the city wide tournaments will commence (I'm thinking July 4th), 

The big final event will happen around mid August. Like a new Boston Marathon exclusively for city residents. The route I propose starts at Franklin Park, down Legionnaires Highway, through the Neponset Greenway, the Harborwalk, Seaport, around the harbor into the North End, over the Longfellow Bridge back, into Boston through Mass Ave, along the Charles through to Brighton, doubling back to end on Boylston St. 

Each person is competing for themselves, but each neighborhood/district will also have a running total of points. The ones with the most points win priority, in terms of choosing and dates, of the new community centers I want to build with the city. Each neighborhood/district will get these, so the next year, previous years winners will still get prizes, but the neighborhood centers will go down the line. 

Excellent opportunity to invite non-Boston neighborhoods and cities to join in on festivities if they make a longer term commitment with Boston, to govern for the mutual interest of all regions. Can eventually spread statewide.  College students who are in the city for the summer are encouraged to join. Basically, I want Boston to be the hub for the USA’s most promising Olympic prospects. I want our city to cheer collectively for every Bostonian we see on the largest world stage 

At the closing ceremonies, awards are given out based on neighborhoods' collective performances in the games, but also recognitions for which cleaned up most litter, diverted the most compost from waste, the ones that produced the least trash. We will highlight the individuals of every age that went above and beyond to be true city leaders. 

Community Centers

The community centers are neighborhood defining places owned by neighborhoods and residents. Other city residents are welcome, but priority is given to neighborhood residents, and it is closed off to others at certain hours. These places are meant to be a combination of community creation, art, local business and food, and activity. They are to be connected along mass transit routes, or even on commuter rail for ones that need more space

I will detail them more in another document but here are some ideas

• South Bay shopping center has enormous parking lots. Turn them into a skate park, with small gravity coasters, a changing mural wall, with spray paints that people can add to (if you fuck around with this privilege you will lose it, aka no nazi, racist, general asshole nonsense)

  • There is a massive delinquency problem in the area already. Give kids a goal to work towards. If they cannot respect basic laws/rules/stay in good academic standing, they cannot enter these centers until they’re making consistent effort. 

• Outdoor Adventure Park. This one’s more likely to go on the outskirts of the city. 

  • Longer bike tracks, larger gravity coasters, go karts, dirt bike tracks. 

  • Integration of trades, keeping the bikes/karts in working order (these are the bikes impounded from the people violating noise ordinances in the city)

• Arcade, combination of chuck-e-cheese, sky zone, escape rooms. 

  • residents are encouraged to partner to develop their own games. Building coding, gaming, artistic, and technical ability within the city

• Multi media art studio: learn glass blowing, work with clay, 3d printing, coding,  weaving and textiles, etc. Rotating cast of visiting professionals and artists, classes you have to sign up for.

• Sports complex, rock climbing wall, diving pools, specialized courts, places for kids to invent their own games and sports and maybe feature them at next Boston Summer Games 

So many more ideas and possibilities. 

These community centers will welcome families and people of every age. They are for the people of Boston. The centers will have time slots for different groups/ages. For example some time slots will be only for neighborhood residents, and wider city residents will be allowed in at other times. 

However, I am targeting the ages of 10-22, a demographic that is sidelined in creating the City’s identity. I want to recognize them for their effort. These spaces are “free” if you're in good standing with academics and civics. Neighborhoods will have to come up with their own rules of conduct, on top of common city wide ones.